BIOLOGICAL WARFARE. GROSS!

The fun thing about riding the city busses is that you get to see all sorts of people. The unfunny thing is you get to smell all sorts of people. And being a warm summer day you can't help but notice that it isn't the bouquet of roses that fills the air. No, when you're sitting down in a seat and it's crowded, some people have to stand in the aisles. And they hold on for their dear lives (because buses make all-too-frequent stops) by grabbing the overhead railing, thus exposing their most deadly weapon: armpit cannons. See, there is a difference between a stinky armpit and an armpit cannon. The cannon is aided by the natural flow of air wafting through partially-opened windows at the fore of the bus which draw air down and towards the aft. As the light breeze passes the armpit it projects The Nasty down towards any occupant seated below. Me. And there I sit trying not to budge from my seat, tears welling up in mine eyes, and using my cell phone to try to create some sort of shield in front of my nose. Oh damn did it reek.

That main course of armpit was complemented with a side dish of Ass. That is served by people who choose to grab the overhead railing backwards, which place the ass right next to your face. Yes, you can try to lean back a little, but the seats don't allow for that much movement.

The takeaway from this is that it is best to get a window seat when possible or be standing above the Smell Zone. Unless you're quite short in which case your nose will still be armpit height---oh poor you.